In the early stages of my healing, I oriented myself toward fixing my dis-ease and toward the belief that I was not OK. So I scurried from one practitioner or doctor to another, certain that one of them would confirm my belief with a diagnosis and fix what (I thought) broke in me. Many did offer me a plan or a protocol, and for a time I thought that if I ate their diet, took their supplements, followed their steps, or bought their program, I’d be well.
This is what I unconsciously sought then—someone to do the heavy lifting for me, to give me an answer, to just lay it all out in a neat and straightforward plan, and HEAL ME. Even though I chose root-cause, holistic approaches I still sought the proverbial “magic pill” that so many in our quick-fix culture seek. At the time, though, I wasn’t aware of this fundamental truth of revolutionary healing:
Only I can heal me.
What I needed, besides this shift in perspective and belief, was to take the reins and own my innate healing capacity ALONGSIDE a partner that believed in my capacity, too. I did not need another fix or protocol.
Coach training taught me that the client is her own best expert, and through my personal journey I realized this is true for healing, too: You are your own best healer. Now, as a coach and a homeopath, I see myself first as a partner, inviting you to embrace this truth.
I’m here to walk with you, but I will not heal you.
The Power of Partnership
Partner as Medicine
The kind of partnership I’m referring to here has healing power in and of itself, independent of the work (and play) of healing. Our nervous systems thrive in connection with others. A partnership that looks and feels like a safe space with another regulated body is a potent positive influence on your nervous system—and a healthy (flexible and resilient) nervous system is one of the most powerful medicines around.
This kind of partnership also distinguishes between co-regulation and co-dependence. While different concepts, they both exist on a continuum, and they must be addressed in the initial, mutual design of the partnership. I mentioned that humans thrive (from birth) through co-regulation and connection. Historically, though, the practitioner and client relationship resembled that of parent-child, placing the practitioner in the role of expert or authority figure, and too often, the client feels dependent on the practitioner for mental, emotional, or even physical stability. A healing partnership flips this upside down, functioning only because both practitioner and client embrace the client as her own best healer and the practitioner as an ally and catalyst that understands the power is in the partnership, not in the practitioner. A partnership with this foundation is good medicine, in and of itself.
Shared Vision
Partnership offers structure and accountability, which matters, but even more powerful is the shared vision of a partnership. A partner walks with you toward your vision. And partnering practitioner invites you to get clear on what you’re both walking toward. I see womxn (myself included) who’ve leapt into protocols and strategies without curating a clear vision of what “success” looks like for them. I know it can feel hard to imagine something different like a life of vibrant health and wellness, especially when you’re living through chronic dis-ease. But this kind of partnership invites you into possibility and potential. It allows for more than you’ve imagined before.
What do you imagine health or wellness looking like for you?
What do you envision your “successful” healing journey looking like?
How will we know that we are there?
These are questions I explore with my clients, the answers of which we revisit and refine so we are clear on what we are walking toward, together.
Designing Your Healing
Partnerships, not protocols, offer you the opportunity to choose the healing modalities and processes that resonate for you. My partnerships include coaching, education, and homeopathic support, or all three, because coaching, education, and homeopathy work synergistically. But not all coaching clients will choose homeopathy, because other modalities might resonate more. Ultimately, I believe a partnership ought to serve to strengthen you as your best healer.
And, no matter the modality you choose, how you come to it matters. That is, are you seeking another person to fix what’s broken or are you looking for a partner to walk alongside you? Both client and practitioner must subscribe to you owning your healing.
Cultivating Awareness
As a homeopath, I’m taught to ask myself “What is asking for healing in this person?” As a coach, I often ask, “What do you want that is most important to you right now?” As a partner, I create a bridge between the answers to these questions so you can step into your role as your best healer.
Even if it is most important to you to have relief from your PMS symptoms so that you can live a full, joyful life, PMS is not The Thing that’s calling for healing. PMS is the symptom, but it is not the underlying issue. Partnership cultivates awareness in that it allows you to get clear on what is asking for healing while holding what is most important to you.
This excerpt from my virtual weekend lecture with Dr. Shahram Ayoubzadeh at the Canadian College of Homeopathic Medicine resonates here. I’ve paraphrased his thoughts below, which are a summary of some ideas he shares with his homeopathic clients to cultivate awareness of what needs healing:
If you see a nutritionist for your headache, it makes sense that she look at the food you eat. If you see a chiropractor for the headache, she’ll look at your spine. A trigger may be a certain food, but because other people don’t react to that food, it’s not a cause. Rather, it’s a trigger. If a headache comes back after your chiropractic adjustment, alignment is not the cause, it’s a trigger. We’re often focused on TRIGGERS, not CAUSES.
Everyone has more than one symptom, even if they are not aware of them. If you suffer from headaches, PMS, and constipation, they are not independent of each other. They are all connected. There’s the mechanistic view of the human that separates our parts. Then there’s the view of the homeopath.
We’re made from one cell. All of our cells have the same genetic material. Our dis-ease is EVERYWHERE, not just in one cell. Even if we suffer from many different symptoms, there is ONE thing at the root, one cause.
Humans are more like a tree than a car…branches connect to a trunk and to the seed that created the tree. Like any tree, humans have roots. Roots are what you inherit from mom, dad, grandparents, and ancestors back to the beginning of creation. We’ve evolved from minerals to single cells, to plants, to animals. This is why you may change your diet, and it removes a TRIGGER, but it doesn’t address the CAUSE.
I believe in a healing partnership that tends to your roots and your trunk, that cultivates awareness, and that invites you to step into your healing power and create a clear vision for your healing. We need more of this kind of partnership to catalyze revolutionary healing individually and collectively.
P.S. If you missed parts one and two of my Revolutionary Healing blog series, be sure to read them here and here.
